In Greeley, Colorado, an evil and despicable man has decided to hurt a young, beautiful transsexual woman by the name of Angie Zapata. Smaller newspapers, such as the Greeley Tribune, across the region have been getting her name wrong, as well as gender pronouns. However, more prestigious papers such as the Denver Daily News have been very good about using correct name and gender markers. I have been talking with a lot of people in the trans community about this event and I have been getting a lot of varied responses. I have even been told that there has been word about encouraging transsexuals to start carrying guns and learning how to use them. This kind of shocks me for a few reasons which I will elucidate in a moment. But first, let’s talk about the incident, what’s happening here and what we can do as a community to heal.
From the attacker’s admission, he clearly states that he does not recognize her as a human being, using such hurtful pronouns as it, when referring to her. I personally find this practice, in and of itself, detestable. However, the story gets worse, as he tries to beat her to death and when he thinks he killed her, he stops until she starts to move and get up again, at which point, he continues to beat her. This is one of the most depraved stories I have ever heard, but not the most (the story of what happened to poor Gwen Araujo, is the most vile in my mind). I am thankful that the police finally found him and they are working to put him to justice, trying this case as it should be charged - as a hate crime. And the admissions of the attacker prove this, as he clearly states that he attacked her because of her transsexual status.
I want to let everyone know that there is a moral to this story, whether people like to hear it or not. The moral is to try to be smart about the people you date. Never let them know your address or information that could be used to stalk you, should they wish to do so. Let them know about your transsexual status in a public place, while sober. A restaurant is a pretty good place, I would think. After this, vet the situation and see what happens. If he is truly not interested, (s)he will probably just walk away and you will have been saved a violent encounter. You can also read his/her reaction by talking to him/her about trans issues and see how they react. If they react in a manner that belies disgust and hatred, my firmest advice is to let them know that you don’t want to see them again. And in this scenario, you do not have to come out as trans if you don’t want to. A really good source for heterosexual transwomen who want to date men has been written by Jennifer Dianne Reitz.
I am not trying to write a story which actually blames the victim here. Far from it. I believe that she did nothing wrong and it was his own bigotry and hate that caused the problem. But I would like to say that we can all do our part to make sure that the people we attract are not going to react like that. Usually, you can tell by looking at their actions and listening to them speak, as well as how they talk about people.
And finally, what’s this about gun ownership? I was talking with someone named Cathryn Paradise and she firmly believes that transwomen should start carrying firearms. This is something I could not agree with simply because I know for a fact that if you carry any sort of weapon, it could be turned against you. Therefore, it is always wisest NOT to carry weapons such as a handgun, mace or anything like that.
