If You Are Interested in Me, Sell Yourself Damn It!

Whenever I post a personals ad on any website, I can tell you honestly that I get a lot of vapid responses from ignorant people. Most of these are one line responses from people who are not truly interested in an actual relationship and do not find me valuable enough to actually try to win me over. Instead, they think that I should instead date them as a reward for their generosity for being so gracious to date me, a transsexual woman who has been cursed with the affliction of being heterosexual. Of course, I do not buy into this crap since I am actually looking for romance, I am not willing to settle for less and I would rather be patient and be with a man who is actually interested in me for who I am at the core. That man, is the one I would rather spend my time with and invest a bit of myself with during each and every date. And if he is truly the man for me, I intend to invest a lot more into him and integrate him more into my life. But that man is interested in actually talking to me and having long conversations with me, showing that he not only has an opinion of his own but is actually interested in my own opinion.

When you tell me that you do not like describing yourself, what I hear is that you are not interested in putting forth the effort to convince me that you are worth dating. I know it sounds egotistical and cliched but that is what I get when I hear those words come out of your mouth. If we are to date, I do want to hear about you and I want you to tell me what you feel is valuable about you and why you feel as though that you are the great person that you are? What makes you special, what makes you happy, what makes you tick? These are the things that I am very interested in knowing about you if you are contacting me or I am contacting you and giving me the opportunity to get to know you better before we even meet wins you a lot of points in my book, to be perfectly honest. Also, if I have to ask questions or prompt you for information other than your stats, it shows me that you are only about the physical and have no desire to sell me your emotional side since there is nothing there worth buying.

If you are just asking for photos, I will not give them to you and I will only assume that you are responding to me for one thing only. I know that you are only wanting photos to fap off to and I am frankly not interested in helping you in that regard simply because it shows that you do not respect me as a person. I am a person with thoughts, feelings and a mind of her own and I want to be intimate with someone who actually cares enough to want to get to know me a bit more than just having random sex. Even though transsexuals are reputed to have much more gratuitous sex drives then our GG counterparts, I will have to say that mine has been tapered by a desire to find an actual loving relationship. I know that I have invested sex into men that do not deserve it and turned out to be scumbags in the end, which is why I have decided instead to go on a path of celibacy until I find the guy who actually cares enough to engage me in stimulating conversation. Who cares enough about my thoughts and feelings to actually want to talk to me. And yes, I know that there is no way in hell that I am going to find that kind of guy before one of my GG counterparts snatches him up. But I can hope, right?

If you are telling me that you only want friends with benefits when I posted an ad for a committed long-term relationship, that tells me that you did not care enough to read the ad I wrote. When I write an ad, I take great care in trying to express myself and my desires and I did not write it just for kicks. Obviously, I have this blog, the Gaytheists and 4 classes that require me to write things for them and I do try to spread my time out evenly. Anywhere I look, I can find myself a writing project to get into without any prevocation but that’s not the point. The point is that if you are telling me that you want friends with benefits, it shows that you don’t even care enough to read what I have to say. I have a few friends at Naropa who actually do read this blog and they do care to what I have to say – these people are true friends. But then again, the people who genuinely want “friends with benefits” are not people who want to be friends with you – they just want casual sex. And that is something that I am so not into.

Please understand that when I say these things, I do not mean to say that I am picky at all – I prefer geeks and those who “mainstream society” would not consider handsome or beautiful. I prefer people who actually have a heart, soul and mind and these people are generally the ones that society rejects so they have to work with issues of loneliness too. These people are not just looking for sex or some fling, they are rather looking for a life partner to enjoy their lives with and that is what I am looking for as well. I know that I complain a lot about not having someone to call my own but I am not into the reckless kind of dating that would put me with people who have no interest at all in an actual relationship. I am looking for love and acceptance and I will not settle for anything less than that.

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Tags: annoying, Dating, interest, personals, responses