The Adventures of Jessica Sideways

I am a very good democrat, I hope Obama wins and I am happy that the DNC is bringing so many people to the Mile High City. Having said that, I have to say that I am going to fucking hate next week unless Dr. Wilson can give me some Progesterone and even then, I am still going to fucking hate next week. Next week is going to prove to be the culmination of all the problems that the Democratic National Convention will bring with it. Yes, next week is going to prove how well this city can survive the DNC and this historic event, as well as the onslaught of bloggers that are going to be talking about the political parts of the DNC. But, since I can’t go, I will be talking about the effects that the DNC will have on the Mile High City and this will be influenced in my posts after the DNC opens.

1. I am not going to the convention - My biggest problem is that I cannot afford to go to the convention, I do not have tickets to go to the convention and I was not invited to the convention. I will not be there in Pepsi Centre of Invesco Field to see Obama accept his party’s nomination and be one of the happy partying guests/residents who will be celebrating the fact that we are close to electing the first black president in the history of this country and one who promises to repeal such violations of equal rights as the Defence of Marriage Act.
2. Traffic is going to be hell - People traffic, car traffic, public transit traffic. It will be harder to get anywhere this next week because of the thousands of visitors that the DNC will dump into our city. Yes, I know that this is good for our local economy. Yes, I know that the people will also dump thousands of dollars into Denver on hotel rooms and purchased goods which will be good for the local economy and also help finance such crap shoots such as FasTracks, I know, I know, I know! But still, the fact of the matter is you are not going to be able to get ANYWHERE as quickly in the city as you would have been. And seeing as I have to PASS Invesco Field to get to downtown, this is going to cause me a painful bottleneck.
3. We have weird ways here in Denver - Not only are the large amount of people that will so surely descend upon Denver like locusts going to be a source of congestion and pain, but also they will largely be uneducated about the gentle nuances of Denver, the ones that residents know so well. We have crosswalks for Jay-walkers, we have psychotic drivers as locals alone. And we have pedestrians who do not know about the repercussions of crossing Broadway OR Colfax without first preparing to run for dear life. In Denver, you gotta run to avoid being hit when crossing either of these streets, and the crossing where these streets may be is absolutely suicide!
4. City Services may be largely unavailable during this week - I am not going to say much about this except for the fact that I was in contact with someone who may be able to help me pay for my surgery. And guess what? I am going to have to wait until AFTER the convention to hear back from them. Many homeless shelters are being cleared out and dumped into the Interfaith Hospitality Network (something that my church participates in) and people are going to be displaced quite horribly. But in other ways, City Services may be overactive, with Denver Police on the make, issuing unjust tickets at the beck and call of evil corporations like Safeway. So, I would highly advise people, citizens or visitors to be highly cautious during your stay.
5. Auraria Library will be closed - Everything you read on this blog that appears to be posted on the dates of the DNC will actually be pre-written posts that are going to be written for the sole purpose of generating content to check while I am unable to use a computer during the DNC. This concerns me greatly and I will miss blogging for the week in which I cannot.

Having said that, I wish the people who are going to the convention lots of fun, I wish Obama wins the election and I wish everything runs smoothly during this historic event. All the same though, I would highly recommend staying away from me during the course of this event, because I am so not going to be happy. ESPECIALLY if Dr. Wilson denies me my Progesterone this time.