When going to Rainbow Alley, I first heard the concept of gender-neutral pronouns. While I have to say that I do not care for them to be used to refer to me, I can’t help but wonder how many people would take these as an alternative. So, I did a little bit of research and saw that there are quite a few combinations of gender neutral pronouns. I genuinely worry about whether or not I am seriously offending the people that I write about by using gender neutral pronouns. I have never written about anyone who has made any objections, even when seeing the posts, but I’d like to be a little more sensitive about other people’s gender identities and to respect them. Especially because I of all people am aware of the fact that there are not just two genders, there are many genders and even many combinations of sexes. So, I would like to recommend the research of gender neutral pronouns. While I know there are many guides about this on the Internet, and many are of very high quality, I would highly recommend this guide on gender neutral pronouns.
I readily admit that I don’t know everything there is to know about gender neutral pronouns. I also know that honestly, it’s easy to make a mistake the first time with meeting someone. And since I don’t use gender neutral pronouns because I identify as a woman (and as a transwoman), I wouldn’t know about gender neutral pronouns from the point of view that someone who would prefer them would have. However, I do believe that we need to get this gender duality crap out of the way and start treating all people with respect, dignity and start creating words in the English language that we can use to help these people who do not wish to subscribe to one gender or another. This is one thing that we must do to ensure that people are no longer alienated by the language used in our cuture.
Modifying language and culture is an odd and difficult practice that we all need to learn about. But it can be done! 50 years ago, in this country, most people were racist. Now, people are less racist and they see that racist jokes and slurs say more about them than they intend. We are also starting to see a decrease in homophobic remarks and even some slight decreases in transphobic remarks. We are present in the world and we challenge people to challenge their bigotries and figure out their source. After all, this is the primary goal of being out - to challenge the bigotries and hatred of people around us. When people start seeing that there are gender variant people in their day to day life - at the grocery store, at the bank, at their workplace, in their PTA, et cetra - they start seeing that we aren’t as evil and perverted as they once thought.
So, at the doctor’s and governmental office, what would I like to see on the form? Well, to be honest, I would like to see “Gender” as a fill in the blank box rather than check one or the other. I would like to see applications for everything from employment to identity cards host a variety of gender options, so we can all be respected and honoured. If we have a birth certificate that says one thing, but truly contradicts our gender - we should get the final say in the matter. We are the ones that know who we truly are, and the genders on our birth certificates are determined using unsophisticated manners, usually by visual determination of the state of genitals (pervs) and then the decision is made by the doctor, without any consent of the person being gendered. A record like this is hard to change, mind you - impossible to do with a gender that does not fall into the “one or the other” mentality.
Also, to website developers, I would highly recommend implementing the usage of gender neutral pronouns on your website. Care to see what I mean? I added a new feature on my contact form, asking for gender and pronouns that you’d prefer to be referred to. Of course, these forms can be omitted, but I am also collecting a survey on how many people answer with the different gender pronouns available. I am encouraging every application developer, not just web applications either, to respect the beauty in the wide spectrum of gender. If you want, there is always an army of people who are more than willing to help you, educate you and to talk to you about what they’d like to see. But make sure you pool a lot of these people, so you can have a broad variety of opinion.
Oh and to anyone who is genderqueer or who uses a different set of pronouns, now or in the future - I apologize sincerely and fully. I hope you would be kind enough to forgive me and to tell me what pronouns to use so I can correct the situation. Thank you so much for your understanding, advice, patience and forgiveness.
