The Adventures of Jessica Sideways

I want to tell you something – I read. I am a big fan of the written word and I also write too, as you can see. I have an enormous Amazon.com wish list that is dedicated solely to the books that I want. I even have a separate Amazon.com wish list for books on how to develop better writing skills. And looking at some of the books on my general wish list, you can generally get a feel for what I want to study in this point of my life. Right now, I am interested in enhancing my feminine image and thus, I have added tons of books about such a subject, among with other books which have words to memorize and odd trivia, which would be interesting to know. But my Amazon.com is largely unedited and since people rarely purchase anything for me on it, it serves my purpose of bookmarking a list of “books to purchase”. But, let’s look at what compiles my list and how it reflects on my projection of my future.

Marijuana – Yes, I have a few books about cultivating and growing Marijuana on my Amazon wish list. I don’t smoke, and I doubt that I ever will, but I always have my filled application for a Medical Marijuana licence and I am serious about learning more about this, along with the risks involved before I do this. But to be honest, smoking seriously irritates me and I would highly doubt that I would EVER get seriously involved with marijuana. Having said that, I do support the fight for the legalization of marijuana across the country and would like to learn more about the process so I can have something to discuss with people at SAFER. And maybe, just maybe, I can also get a free “party organically” t-shirt out of it. What can I say, I’ve been eyeing them since People’s Faire.

Queer Theory – Well, I just think it is a good practice to read up on what other people in the LGBTQ community are thinking. I love reading queer theory because it brings me more into a culture which I am relatively new in. I like to get to be a veteran advocate for equal rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer people, but I know that this will take experience and many years in the community. Plus, I want to learn the history of the equal rights battle for us and I also want to read the life histories of other lesbians and transsexuals. I have already read the autobiographies of Kate Borenstein, Renee Richards and Christine Jorgenson and I have watched the beautiful and poignant documentary, Chris & Don. I love these stories and I read them all the time, as it makes me feel like I am a part of a history of activists and fighters for the right to be who you are. This, in turn, provides me a deeper connection with the very wonderful people who build beloved community.

Psychology – I am deeply interested with society and, as such, I have an inherent interest in Psychology. No kidding. I like to figure out what makes people tick and what we can do to help people in this world. I am not yet sure what I am going to major in when I start going to University but I do know that Psychology would be a very interesting avenue to travel. I love the complexity of the human mind, psychotic people make me think about ways we can help them, or if they even need help at all. This is also why I would like to take a course on Transpersonal Psychology so I can truly see if we need to “cure” people, or if these people are living very abundant and beautiful lives where they are.

Eastern Religions – The two likely topics of my research in these areas are Buddhism and Taoism, but I am vastly interested in researching Hinduism and Confucianism. I doubt that the texts that I would find would convert me to a Hindu, as I have an affinity for the occassional hamburger and don’t believe in any of the world’s gods, but I do believe in researching other religions, since I feel that since I have been researching the darker side of Christianity, I am coming off as anti-Christian. Well, truth be told, I AM anti-Christianity, but I don’t want to seem that the only religion I want to take down is Christianity, since I want to take down the misogyny and homophobia in Islam as well.

Weddings – What can I say? When I find the grrl of my dreams and we get to the point where we want to get married, I want to know my stuff and create as unique a ceremony as we can possibly create. I want to integrate parts of different cultures and ideas that I like as well as ideas and themes that my partner likes. And of course, I want to have a ceremony in Boulder, or if not there, somewhere in Canada (would have to get it done there anyway to have a legal marriage licence). I also want to have a fairly inexpensive wedding, so I am also reading books about that. And of course, I want to see how good I’d look in a wedding dress once I have my FFS/lose some weight/get all the fat redistribution benefits that the hormones will afford.

Guides to Green my Life – Let’s face it, our environment is turning to shit and we need to take a 180 turn and stop polluting our country. Of course, I am strongly considering leaving this country when I get the chance to, but I believe that here and now, I have a responsibility and a duty to live as green a life as humanly possible. From now on, I will do my best to try to stop ordering take out Chinese food in non-biodegradable containers, eat in a bit more (thereby encouraging organic food producers and putting more money into organic food stores) and find other ways to lessen my impact on the environment.

Studies of language – I want to improve my writing skills because one of these days, I hope to write a book. This is why I have a lot of books in my wishlist about writing. Many of them are about usage of proper grammar, punctuation, better words to use and how to improve your language. Plus, I want to start writing fiction and I’d like to learn how to write really good mystery books and erotica. This is going to take a lot of introspection and personal study, but I believe that I can eventually become a very good writer as soon as I improve my skills quite a bit. I am also interested in studying the English language and the reasons why some words are taboo and some aren’t. It just perplexes me how America has become a nation of prudes (seriously!).

Web Design & Development – I have an interest to keep my skills in fine tune and as soon as I get my new old mac, I plan to get a couple of these books to help me obtain the skills to totally revamp this site. I want to have a custom design, which is the mark of many of the best blogs (along with good content). I want to show people that I actually care about this blog.

Politics – I am highly interested in politics and I am largely a liberal from a family of conservatives. I guess I was lucky in that aspect. But I am passionate about politics firstly because I am a liberal, and secondly, because I believe in equal rights for all. I believe that what the Bush administration has done over the past few years has been completely and totally detremental to this country and to our reputation in the global community. People say that if we vote for Obama, Iraq is going to attack us. Well, firstly, the old dictatorship that ran Iraq is gone, so why should we fear retaliation from them. And secondly, even if they did retaliate, we deserve it! We invaded their country for no valid reason, with no proof of Weapons of Mass Destruction just so that Bush can finish his daddy’s war. And so that we can get their oil. This is absolutely reprehensible and wrong.

Yoga – I am a big believer in the benefits of yoga. I am also especially fond of the specific Hatha yoga practice that I participate in, which is Bikram yoga. I believe that it will ultimately help me acheive the best state of health and well-being that I have ever had in my life. I will lose weight, be able to fit into smaller sizes of clothing and look better doing so and help me appreciate the body that I have more. True, I will be working on several other things to help along the process of weight loss, since that is kinda important to me, but largely, I believe that yoga will be nothing but beneficial to me. So, having said that, I want to study the ins and outs of yoga and finally get the practice down so I can live a healthier, better life.

Health – Let’s put this as simply as possible, my health sucks. I spent the better part of 20 years of my life sitting in front of televisions, computers and in classrooms. I hardly got outside and the only exercise I ever got was when I ran from the classroom to lunch, and that left me largely winded. I am fat and this feels like being stuck in a stasis as to my transition. I refuse to be stuck in stasis, so I will diet. I will work out with yoga and hopefully, I will lose the fat which has stuck with me during much of my youth.

Sex – I hate to admit this publicly, but I am human, so who in their right mind would convict me for the words I am about to write. I love the emotional connection of two people in the art of love. And since I am largely a virgin, I want to learn how to keep my lover (once I get one) happy with me and to learn how to please her. Therefore, I study sex as both a practice and a theory. I like to look at books which will teach me more about the art.

Feminism – Even though the name of feminism has been tainted by some transphobic people, like Germaine Greer, I am still largely a feminist. How can I not be, I identify with the female gender largely, I am persecuted for my gender expression and, frankly, I am in a highly marginalized part of society. Many transwomen are feminists and those who aren’t do not exactly have any thoughts about feminism that would be considered negative (except those against bigoted people like Germaine Greer and her ilk).

Gender Studies – Being a transsexual, I have a high stake and very intimate, personal knowledge of the idea of gender studies, but I like to read books about it to keep my knowledge of multiple theories about gender current. I like Kate Bornstein’s idea that ultimately, we are neither gendered exclusively male or female, we just are who we are. That gender is a social construct and something that has nothing to do with nature. We are attracted to people who act a certain way and give off an aura and a way about them that we like. I like studying gender and I love the ideas that highly intelligent activists have portrayed.

Fashion – I want to learn more about how to dress like someone my age and not someone from a past generation. Transsexuals have a phenomena about them that ultimately, we dress like we are one or two generations older than we actually are. Well, I don’t want to settle for that, I want to be a pretty little femme that will hopefully attract another young woman so we can hopefully live a long, happy and beautiful life. Therefore, I want to know how to look good and how to keep myself looking the best that I can, no matter what my age and stage.

A couple of these books, I have acquired on my own, such as the Unitarian Universalist Pocket Guide and The Atheists Are Revolting by Nick Gisburne. Also, many of these books are cross-topic and meet many of these topics listed here. But the point I like to make is that I like to read, and I do read. A lot. Seriously. And I read for many reasons, the most important of which is to obtain information that will help to improve my life and ultimately, will make me a better person. And some of these books I read for personal enjoyment or fulfillment. Or both. Oh and if you like this site, care to buy me a book? It would go to a good home and would be frequently read!

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