The Adventures of Jessica Sideways

I was reading the book, the Cult of Mac and I came across the chapter that talked about Apple’s Chief Evangelist and about the mailing list known as the Evangelist. The purpose of this list was to publicize articles which talked negatively about Apple’s products and to help get people who were dedicated to the gospel of Mac to get an author to rethink her/his statement. Well, I just thought “well, why would anyone bash Apple, they have some pretty good products”? Well, apparently, I have a couple of opinions about some Apple products where I think that Apple could have seriously done better. The first is about Apple’s web service MobileMe and when I posted about it, it happened to become instantly popular - having received about 500 hits since the day it was posted. This last weekend, my hits went from about 30-100 to numbers like 353 and 459 hits, pushing that post to be even more popular than the front page of my website. That post has the most comments of any posts, with most of them (very respectfully, I might add) disagreeing with me. And I have to wonder, is this the pull that Apple has over the world?

I guess this is because this blog is not about technology and I don’t do much in the way of technical reviews anymore. I’ve written a few posts here and there about a few new web 2.0 technologies that I have found, but other than that, I haven’t done any tech reviews at all. This is because it just no longer seems relevant to me, as I am more focused on transition and living the rest of my life as who I am. Technology served a purpose for me when I was trying to pretend to be male - it gave me the perfect little place to hide from all of life’s little problems. It gave me something to do to avoid coming to terms with the fact that I am a transsexual and that my family is largely and unabashedly unaccepting towards who I am. Therefore, as I have spent most of my life focused on technology, hiding from the real issues and pretending to be male in the process - I no longer talk about technology. I no longer focus solely on web programming, but I have a deep interest in web design. And my computer is no longer something that I use to toy around with and create useless applications which never really accomplished anything, but a way to express my angst and pain - as well as my successes and triumphs. In an essence, my MacBook Pro that I had took on a new meaning, a window into a world that I was just learning to re-explore.

I do not have to hide from myself anymore and I no longer have any need to get overly obsessed with computers. Sure, it’s fun to piss away time on the net, but I feel as though it’s no longer relevant to my life whether or not I have the latest MacBook Pro or whether or not my Mac’s software is up to date by the second. I will continue in web design only because it allows me creativity that I so desire and a medium in which to express it. I choose to design at my leisure and in my own time and space, as well as in my own choosing. But I’d rather not be a professional web designer, making money off of my skills, since it is not fulfilling. I want to get married to another lesbian, be her cute little femme, raise a family with 2.5 queerspawn, er, I mean kids and plan for retirement. I am sorry to say this, but the need to have intimate working knowledge about the current trends in technology is starting to seem irrelevant to my life.

This also brings Apple into a new definition to me and provides me with a computer where usability is always kept in mind. This allows me to have a computer that will work as well with photoshop as it will with Scrivener or any other app that I feel that I need. When I get a computer, it will serve more of my practical needs rather than the needs of a technological professional. Again, not a difficult curve to take as Apple suits the needs of the casual user and the professional who makes hir living off of the internet. But I do sincerely believe that until I am old and gray, I will be a devout Apple fan until my final days here on earth.