The Adventures of Jessica Sideways

I found an interesting link the other day about Christianity and how it is still supposedly becoming Christless. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’d have to say that it’s like saying Harry Potter books are becoming Harry Potter-less. You can’t take Christ out of Christianity just like you can’t take the protagonist out of any other work of fiction - it just ruins it and works against the organization. And here, we have people who actually believe in this shit, that this shit actually happened and that Christianity is absolutely diabolical. But there is this one guy writing a book on Christless Christianity so I am going to have to throw my two cents about “Christless Christianity” and how it’s about as contradictory as compassionate conservative. Of course, being an ex-Christian, I can see the problems with blind faith and the Judeo-Christian faith, but there are still people in the faith that believe in this bullshit. Pasted below is a quote from the author’s book, and it’s first chapter - and I will respond to three of the allegations that this man makes.

Somehow we’ve managed to preach Christ crucified in such a way that few are offended, a once unmanageable God suddenly seems nice, and the gospel makes good sense - as we
are accustomed to making sense. We just can’t stand to submit to the machinations of a living God who is determined to have us on God’s terms rather than ours, so we devise a god on our own terms. Flaccid, contemporary Christianity is the result.

First off, who the hell can POSSIBLY make the bible make any sort of sense what-so-ever? The Bible is a ragtag collection of fictional stories which wind up contradicting each other. Absolute make believe for adults who aren’t ready to grow up and deal with shit that they absolutely must deal with to survive as a rational person on this planet. It was haphazard at best and downright evil at worst, promoting misogyny, infanticide and homophobia - to name only three things. It shows that killing your child (or even having such a strong enough intent to go through with it but your hand was stayed by God at the last minute) for your god is more honourable than honouring the life of another human being. But God also says “Thou shalt not kill”. But after that, Moses and his army starts the blood bath of their god - completely and totally going against what their God had supposedly wanted. Seriously, what the hell is going on here? It seems to me that Christianity is terribly hypocritical and you are supposed to love your neighbour but kill them if they should work on the sabbath.

The Bible was written in a time when men thought the world was flat, not round. You find the most misogynistic homophobic shit in this book, and you can most definitely say that it is a book that no one with a working conscience or a sense of empathy would find this would any moral code to derive from. It advocates for blood baths and Jesus takes the Jews out of the frying pan and into the fire, literally speaking, by opening up the gates of hell for all people. There is absolutely no way you can get to heaven, according to the Bible, and anyone who says differently does not know what the Bible really says. I am absolutely certain that if every Christian were given working knowledge and a summary of what all the verses said, the numbers of Christians would definitely decrease. I mean, people believing in giants and burning bushes which talked, come on that’s like believing that Jack and the Beanstalk is along the lines of reality. Completely out of the question and I would like to think that our society needs to start teaching people about the bible - even the bad in it so that they have a more thorough understanding, along with some moral teaching about why it helps society to stop fucking with people’s individual lives and let them live the lives that they want to as long as it doesn’t infringe on another person’s rights. Learn to be more fucking tolerant, you fucking assholes.

Second off, what fucking moron made the bullshit claim that the god of the Bible is nice or loving? The God of Christianity, Islam and Judaism is an evil fucking tyrannical dictator, worse than Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Hitler or Mao Zedong. The god of the Judeo-Christian faiths desires not only to mass murder people, but to take those people and put them in a situation where they would feel pain day in and day out with no respite. There is no denying it, as people of faith admit themselves that if you are not saved, you are going to go to hell. But which branch of Christianity is right and is Christianity even right at all? How can you be so sure that Islam isn’t the true religion of your god and the Koran isn’t the latest version of his truth? It’s just as homophobic and misogynistic as the Christian bible and yet, people of the Christian faith don’t seem to see the parallels between the Koran which currently inspires young men to strap bomb belts and IEDs to themselves and kill people for their god, and the Crusades and Spanish Inquisition of Christianity. Personally, since it asks you, no commands you, to act in such a reprehensible manner, you must see that this religion was not created by an all-knowing, loving god and that it does not deserve your time nor your money.

Thirdly and finally, if you are not offended by Christianity, than clearly something is seriously fucked up with you. I mean, how could you POSSIBLY enjoy eternal paradise knowing that your friends and family members who didn’t believe exactly the way that you do are going to go to hell for all eternity? Christianity relies on the threats of eternal torture to make people believe it’s story, but let’s pretend for the sake of argument that it’s real. How could you, having loved these people and known them for years and years, having them help you out of jams and truly show you what the meaning of love really is, allow their torture? If it were real, I would do what I could to fight in the battle against this horrible monster which threatens to torture humanity forever. I would assist in rallying the troupes and get them to help take down this horrific monster, thus helping to save humanity from it’s wrath. I would not just become flaccid and worship this evil monster for killing off all the non-believers, world leaders and nationals of communist countries just because they didn’t receive the “good news” that this god was going to burn them forever in unending torture, I would do whatever I could to stop it. After all, I have a strong sense of social justice and I honestly believe that this would not be tolerable in the least bit.

We have a religion that is fragmented against itself, from people such as the Metropolitan Community Church to the Westboro Baptist Church. Obviously, the Bible is not clear and cannot be the work of a sentient, intelligent, all-knowing god. We have to assume, therefore, that Christianity is therefore made up, that the god of the bible is a hateful, evil tyrant and that Christians of all stripes are divided amongst one another as to what their church actually tells them to believe. This book has been used to poison the minds and hearts of people in society to think that hate is okay if this book decrees it and it should be respected as an act of religious freedom. We have been asleep at the wheel far too long and we have let these people who believe in this despicable doctrine gain too much control and too much footing in our laws. We have to help Christianity become Christless in any way possible so that it will become much easier to escape it’s horrific trap on the mind. So, if there is a Christless Christianity circling about, we have to ask ourselves, how is it that this will effect society and if it works in our favour? If it results in convincing Christians to stop being prejudiced, judgmental assholes, than I am absolutely all for it.

When you take the Christ out of Christianity, you basically get a bunch of people who are doing some seriously evil shit for no rational reason, and absolutely no spiritual reason either. You get people thinking about the shit that they are trying to pull and then they have to see that following their religion is pointless. This results in less people believing in crazy stories and less people committing hate crimes and pointing to religion as the excuse. It allows reason and rational thought to be the cornerstones of our legal system, not ancient codes of conduct conveyed by people even less egalitarian and intelligent than we are. We should know better now, so why continue to worship a deity which is ultimately make-believe and highly replicated throughout history? Why not just worship one of the “saviours” that came before Jesus of Nazareth, like Mithra? Or how about becoming a Jewish Christian Muslim, that way, no matter which one of the three religions is right (and none of them are), you’ll still be able to go to heaven. Yeah, sure, whatever.