The Adventures of Jessica Sideways

Reading a post on another blog called What Transmisogyny Looks Like has opened my eyes to all the definitions of transmisogyny, including one that happened to me just recently. You see, for years, even before I identified as trans, I knew this guy who ran a very famous pokemon site. We met when I was interested in buying a news post from him to promote a discussion board that I had been running at the time. Well, his website went down, a friend of mine (Roshawn) took over his domain name (refuses to give it back) and the deal went sour. For our purposes, I’m not going to reveal his name simply because I don’t want it to seem like I’m just getting revenge on random people from my past life. We didn’t speak for about a year but soon after that, we became the best of friends. I believe this was prior to my departure to Canada and I was so glad that no matter what happened, I could always talk to him and he could make sense of it all. And I did the same for him on a number of occasions, even when I decided to leave the faith and slowly walk down the path to becoming an atheist.

When I started to transition, I had a serious crush with my friend from that pokemon site. I mean, from all appearances, he seemed like a very nice guy, very understanding and very liberal and I thought we would be a good match. I guess he didn’t because when I told him that I was attracted to him, he didn’t speak to me for over a year. He just recently started speaking to me again last week and when I told him, again, that I was attracted to him – he completely blew me off simply because of the fact that I’m a transwoman. And in the end, his prejudices won out and he stopped talking to me, even though when he was having trouble with getting friends or needed advice, I was always there for him. I am sad that one of the best friends I have ever had is a transmisogynistic prick but then again, I guess it’s better that I know the truth about him sooner than later.

And I feel really bad now, simply because I tried to remain friends with him, even though (according to Roshawn), he burned a lot of people in the pokemon community with his scams. Now, I’m talking with Roshawn over Facebook and he’s been very kind and not saying things like “I’ve told you so”. Roshawn has been a wonderful person and I’ve largely abandoned him. I owe him an apology and I admit it right now, I seriously messed up and I apologize for that. But he’s always there for me, even as a shoulder to cry on, if only virtually. Thank you Roshawn, for your support, understanding and decision not to abandon me like so many other people have.

No related posts.