The Adventures of Jessica Sideways

Sometimes, I wonder what authority I really had to tell people that it was important to forgive the attacker. I mean, it is true that the attacker committed a horribly heinous crime and he got what he deserved, but some people need a little bit more time to grieve. And I believe that the appropriate approach to deal with when I deal with this tragedy or tragedies like this from now on is to meet people where they are at in their pain. I borrow this saying from Arthur Jeon and his book, City Dharma. Basically, the story that he tells in his book to illustrate this concept is one where he is waiting in line at the bank and he sees an old man who is angry as hell, for what reason no one really knows. Arthur tries to offer to help him, with an agenda in mind (to relieve this person’s suffering) and approaches him with this agenda and offers to help him. What happens is that old man tries to splash hot coffee into his face and Arthur immediately backs down. The bank manager comes onto the scene and offers to help him with his problem, meeting him where he is at in the moment. She does have an agenda in mind, but she tries to meet him at the moment. Continue reading ‘Meeting People Where They Are’