The Adventures of Jessica Sideways

Now, I do not know why the hell I am telling Christian musicians how to do their job or how to try to con people into believing in the holy spirit when the fact of the matter is that I believe that belief in the holy spirit is the one thing that has been fucking this country up for all these years. However, I am also a personal development coach so I have decided to write a little quick guide for Christian Rock musicians who would like to know how to get the crazier of the Christian evangelicals off their backs and go back to the business of selling records. Of course, keep in mind that the truly crazy will not stop writing their spiels about how Christian rock is really the tool of the devil and everyone is going to go to hell if they hear a note of Micheal W. Smith’s music or some garbage like that. The truly crazy (a/k/a Jack Chick crazy) will continue to display their complete want for intelligence and are the same people that protest against homosexuality or abortion on the streets here in Denver. There is no talking with them, their pastors out in the middle of Pissbucket, Colorado or whatever have already brainwashed them to the point where they can just say a few words and these people will believe it to be true. Of course, you can never say THAT to anyone in public (and you might want to restrict who you say it to in private as well, cause you really don’t need it to appear in the Enquirer and the Watchtower the next day). With that in mind, let’s get on our way, shall we? Continue reading ‘Tips for Marketing Christian Musicians’