I think it’s high time for some reflection on what it truly means to me, to be trans. Well, even though I have had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of highs and lows and I have won a lot of battles in my struggle to be me, I must admit that there are some problems in my life which are horribly difficult to contend with. I am now on my 10th month on hormones and my 5th month being full-time. With the exception of my voice, I have been told that I pass pretty well and I am certain that the more that I work on, the better things are going to get. So, let’s get this status report under way, eh? Continue reading ‘10 Months on Hormones, 5 Months Full-Time’
Archive for the 'Discovering my own sexuality' Category
NOTE: This post has some really intimate details, I’d highly recommend that if you are a prude or under the age of consent, you stay away from this post. In fact, if you are a prude, why are you reading this blog at all?!? Let me know!
If you want me to be honest, I can’t honestly say that I am exclusively a lesbian. I am a pansexual, meaning that I am attracted to the person, regardless of gender. I just happen to lean more towards the lesbian side. But what if I fell in love with a man, a man that I knew from my previous life? If my fantasies were getting married to him and making love to him and being the perfect suzy homemaker, does that make me any less truthful about my sexual desires? Well, no, not really. I write here in the moment (or I try to at least) and I believe that my sexuality is quite fluid. I am a pansexual who is largely attracted to other women. But to deny the fact that I don’t have desires about men that I have known in my life is a complete and blatant lie and I am too honest to deprive my readers of anything but the truth. So, yes, I profess sexual fluidity - but is that really such a bad thing? Continue reading ‘Sexual Fluidity’
Well, I think that my protests had an effect which is now quite bittersweet. My blog experienced quite a bit of traffic during the DNC but it’s starting to level off with the news posts starting to fall into the archives. I hear all sorts of things about myself, one of which is that like the Democratic Party, I am having an identity crisis. And you know what? Sometimes, they are absolutely right. I am having an identity crisis, but not of the kind people think. I have an identity crisis of being a transwoman in a largely male-oriented world. I am giving up the white male privilege that society affords people who don’t necessarily fall into a minority for a queer label and a community. I don’t really think of it as a privilege but considering that since I’ve transitioned, it’s been harder and harder to get a job with a fairly decent rate of pay, I can’t deny the fact that white straight male people have it much, much easier than females, someone in the LGBT community, someone in the communities of colour and other communities. But let’s talk about the identity crisis I am facing, eh? Continue reading ‘An Identity Crisis, eh?’
I doubt that many people completely and totally grasp the concept of transsexuality. Especially if someone is a lesbian transwoman or a gay transman. I keep getting the question “why can’t you just stay a dude?” or something to that effect. Sometimes, I get tired of answering this question over and over again but to sum it up, here’s the brass tacks: sexual orientation is different from gender identity. I could explain my situation, but if you really want to understand the general idea that sexual orientation is different than gender identity, then I would highly recommend reading a page that the Centre for Gender Sanity created on it called the Diagram of Sex and Gender. But some people might not get the idea from this page so I am going to explain it all in a different manner down here. Continue reading ‘Why I Just Can’t “Stay a Dude”’