About a week ago, my sister phone me a few times and then hung up right when I picked up the phone. I did finally reach her and I asked her what’s up and then she decided to call me by that old male name. Anyone in this situation knows what happened next - click. My sister broke the first rule of respecting trans people and that is not to use the old name of the person, no matter where they are in transition. Seriously, this is not permissible in any situation and any transwoman or transman that tolerates this is being a lot more gracious and wonderful to you than I would be. And from many of the reactions I’ve gotten and agreements about this, I would have to say that I am not alone in this position, that a lot of transwomen are in agreement with me about this. Continue reading ‘The First Rule of Respecting Trans People: Don’t Use the Old Name’
Archive for the 'Transsexuality' Category
Earlier, I posted on Gender Neutral Pronouns. But now, I am going to talk about something even more important - the use of a name which is not attached to masculinity or femininity. In society, names are especially important and they hold attachments to many of our memories. We remember our parents getting pissed and calling us by our first and middle names. My mother even told me that if she was going to name me and if I were born a genetic girl, she would have named me Lacie Starlene. Yeah, I didn’t get that either. But why should we give children names that try to lock them into one gender or another without their consent? What is the motivation behind this idea? Continue reading ‘Should We Give Children Gendered Names?’
About a week ago, after coming home from work, I had to stop in at the Boulder Transit Centre and who did I see but my old acquaintance, Brody! She just came back from Boulder Pride with her friends (I am ever so jealous) and now, she was beginning to head back to Denver. We only got to talk a little before the incident that really started to make my head spin begun. She went to use the ladies room and the RTD security guard got up, waddled over to the ladies’ room door and waited for her to come out. I was thinking “what the hell is he standing there for?” and was preparing to help resolve a confrontation between the long arm of the RTD Wackenoff, er I meant Wackenhut security guys and her. But then I saw what really was going down, as he started asking her why she went into the ladies room, thinking that she was a he. Of course, Brody corrected the man and he lingered around for a while, looking at her and walked away. I was all thinking “what the fuck?!?” Of course, when I had to go back to the Boulder bus the next day, I let the RTD Wackenoff security guard know and he said he’d look into it. But this does raise a bigger concern - what is the importance of passing and how can we in this society pass for who we really are? And what is the concern with passing at all? Continue reading ‘Passing for Something’
I think it’s high time for some reflection on what it truly means to me, to be trans. Well, even though I have had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of highs and lows and I have won a lot of battles in my struggle to be me, I must admit that there are some problems in my life which are horribly difficult to contend with. I am now on my 10th month on hormones and my 5th month being full-time. With the exception of my voice, I have been told that I pass pretty well and I am certain that the more that I work on, the better things are going to get. So, let’s get this status report under way, eh? Continue reading ‘10 Months on Hormones, 5 Months Full-Time’
I transition because I need to and I want to have a set result. In other words, to live a good life and to be honest to myself. I mean, I enjoy some aspects of transition, but other confuse the hell out of me or wipe me out. Some are so financially unattainable in the immediate future that it creates a sort of plateau and that wipes me out. I mean, I think that except for voice feminization and a little bit of psychotherapy, I have pretty much done what I can do for now. I do plan to have Sex Reassignment Surgery as soon as possible and then start saving for FFS after that. I do plan to start laser hair removal once I return home from Thailand and once it has had it’s full effect, I plan to fall back on electrolysis (you know, so I can hopefully reduce the amount of money that I need to spend on hair removal). And there are some things about transition that make no sense what-so-ever and I believe that those things are what makes transition a lot like high school. Continue reading ‘Transition is a Lot Like High School’
To say I have family issues would be an understatement. I have an alcoholic father and a mother who may or may not be addicted at this time. My father is a lapsed Catholic and my mother is a Christian, probably of the baptist tradition. And they are both really trying to coerce me out of becoming more myself than ever. I believe that this is probably due to the fact that they cannot deal with their “son” being an atheist, that if I am a transsexual, I would somehow be beyond the saving of a god that created the problem in the first place. So, this is why they ignore me, shut me out and every time I phone or write them, they give me all sorts of hell. Things like lying about me, threatening me with physical harm (had to phone Denver Police once) and calling me by that old name. I’ve had enough and I have decided that until they are willing to behave in a respectful manner, they would not be allowed to contact me. Fairly simple ideal, no? Continue reading ‘Family Issues’
There is a special little hell here in the LGBT community of Colorado that is actually started and endorsed by people of the same community. Of course, I speak of the Gender Identity Centre and while there are plenty of good, hard-working people at the Gender Identity Centre, there are quite a few assholes - like the facilitator of the Tuesday night support groups, teeg. Let me just say that ultimately, I have purposely tried to avoid going to the Tuesday night support groups because of the fact that while I like and respect other facilitators like Tina, Spring Marie and Beth, there is one that is the most deserving of my outrage and vitriol. The evil she-devil known as Teeg, or TG Spirit (on the public GIC website). No amount nor intensity of words could ever exclaim what tuesday night support groups are like with her, but I can give you a quick summary. Continue reading ‘Tuesday Night Support Groups at the GIC’
Today, when I went to the clinic to pick up my hormones, I saw a fellow sister. Another transsexual waiting (I think) to pick up her medicine. I was happy to meet another sister AROUND MY AGE but I was even more worried that I was able to pick her out so very well from the croud of people that are normally at the clinic. Is it how we look, dress, speak or act? Somewhat, but I think the ability to be able to tell if another person is transsexual comes in a little think that has been called “t-dar”. Now, t-dar, or transsexual radar, is a radar that people possess to determine whether or not someone is transsexual or not. And furthermore, there is a wonder about who possesses the knowledge of how to utilize this special skill and who does not. Continue reading ‘What is T-Dar?’
Well, I think that my protests had an effect which is now quite bittersweet. My blog experienced quite a bit of traffic during the DNC but it’s starting to level off with the news posts starting to fall into the archives. I hear all sorts of things about myself, one of which is that like the Democratic Party, I am having an identity crisis. And you know what? Sometimes, they are absolutely right. I am having an identity crisis, but not of the kind people think. I have an identity crisis of being a transwoman in a largely male-oriented world. I am giving up the white male privilege that society affords people who don’t necessarily fall into a minority for a queer label and a community. I don’t really think of it as a privilege but considering that since I’ve transitioned, it’s been harder and harder to get a job with a fairly decent rate of pay, I can’t deny the fact that white straight male people have it much, much easier than females, someone in the LGBT community, someone in the communities of colour and other communities. But let’s talk about the identity crisis I am facing, eh? Continue reading ‘An Identity Crisis, eh?’